Change & Finding Happiness

 

Hey everyone! 

Today I wanted to post a more chatty kind of blogpost, one about myself and one where you can share your stories in the comments if you so wish and we can have a nice talk with eachother about what we're feeling. It might not be as happy peppy and short and sweet as it usually is, so I apologise for that, but this is what I wanted my blog to be about. I wanted to talk about change, and finding your own happiness. 

Now, change has always been a scary thing for me ever since I was younger. I've never liked my birthday coming around each year, because it means I'm going to be a year older and I really don't like the thought of that. The only birthdays that I have been excited for that I can remember were turning 10 because I was "double digits", 13 because I was a "teenager", 16 because I thought being 16 was the bomb and I was SUCH an adult at that age (not, what a horrible age to be!!), and 18, for the obvious reasons and now I was legally in England an 'adult' and I could drink legally and be an avid party animal legally. 

In a few days to whenever I post this, I am going to be turning 20. TWENTY!! I'm not going to be a teenager anymore, and in the USA I'm still not classified as an adult! I'm just an awkward human-thing that's roaming around and meant to have her life together but really doesn't have their life together at ALL. I'm going to be coming out of my teens and that is really daughnting for me... I'm not too sure how to cope with it. It gives me anxiety, which I have suffered with for a number of years, but maybe we'll get to that at a later date.

I'm lucky enough to be in New York for my 20th birthday, with my boyfriend who is the best person in the world (and i shall be vlogging it, if you want to subscribe and see all those cool bits and bobs) but I'm still SCARED! 

I'm scared of changing into a drastic age, I'm scared of what is to come in the future (and excited, but mostly scared), and I'm also scared of the fact I'm not happy with what I'm doing with my life right now, and is this it forever? Because I really hope it isn't. I currently work in a dead-end job, in which I have been working for 2 years and I've hated every moment of it. It makes me so unhappy, and I would never wish this sort of life upon anyone. But how do I get out? I feel trapped, trapped in my job and trapped in my unhappy life. I come to be myself at the weekends, when hopefuly I can spend time with my boyfriend, or go and travel to see my friends at university.

But all weekend all I can think is that when Monday comes back around, I'm straight back into work, and straight back into being unhappy for a whole 5 days, just working so I can get money and pay off my debts with my family, and have 2 happy days out of 7. That's no life to lead! But I don't know how to get out. Not many places are jumping at the oppertunity to hire me, and I can't just leave my job because it pays for my car, and pays for my amazing trips away travelling to America. So what does one do? Are you in the same situation as me? Are you as scared of change as I am? Because I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets worried about the future and worried about being stuck in your horrible job for the rest of your life.

We ALL deserve happiness. We all deserve to be surrounded by loving people, who love us and we love back, be surrounded by co-workers in a job you love and wanting to wake up and get out of bed in the morning. We all deserve to be not scared of change - because change should be good, really, shouldn't it?! 

This is all over the place and I am sorry for that, I'm just feeling a lot of emotions right now... and it probably doesn't help that it's my 'lady time' of the month... but chocolate and copious amounts of english breakfast tea does help that.

So, thoughts? Fears? Woes? Worries? I want to hear them all, vent to me. Get expressive. Get emotional. Then maybe we can help eachother. It's always nice to have a shoulder to lean on, and usually, strangers are the best ones for that. I won't judge you.

Thanks for reading my ramble. I shall leave you with this, the great words of Taylor Swift

"These things will CHANGE, can you feel it now? These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down."

Keep smiling, (even if it's diffiult)

Paige x 

How to: Stay Positive through-out the Holidays

Hello, lovelies.

The holidays are in full swing right now, Christmas has just passed, New Years Eve & Day are fast approaching, and upon all the happiness and the kind acts of giving, family meetings and board games that you say you don't want to play; but you really want to beat your Mum in, some important things are pushed aside.

Your mental health.

Now, I know that not everyone suffers with a mental health problem, however about a quarter of the population in the UK alone will experience a mental health problem within the year, and the pressures of the holidays can make it worse for those who suffer (and also those around)

So today I wanted to give you some reminders on making sure that you look after yourself and don't get too caught up in the hustle-and-bustle of the holiday spirit.

  

Take your time: 

Don't keep rushing around from door-to-door visiting everone whom you may feel like will forget about you during this period, they'll understand if you send them a text and let them know you're not up for it today, and maybe you can take a raincheck and have lunch another time. Not everything has to be squeezed into a 10 day limit, and not all plans are stuck in concrete - things can change and that's okay.

It's okay not to want to participate:

If you don't want to play that board game, or you don't want to attend that party that your friends are going to, or go shopping with your parent and sibling - that is OK! Your friends and family will understand if you feel like you need to take a breather because you're not entierly feeling yourself that day, or you want a duvet and Netflix afternoon with your cat. You're not expected to be everywhere all the time, and nothing is wrong with that.

 

Gifts aren't everything:

Panicking about the fact you haven't bought your Dad the aftershave he wanted, or you forgot to pick your Sister up those chocolates she really likes isn't the end of the world! Christmas was never made about having to buy people gifts, and this only puts more pressures on yourself to try and have 'The Perfect Christmas', and maybe being around hundreds of people in a small shopping centre sparks up your anxiety and that hinders your gift buying rota, it doesn't matter, no-one is going to mind if you didn't buy them a Hoverboard this year! 

 

Remember, it's a time of rest:

If you're on a break from University, School, or Work... remember this is YOUR time off too, and you're allowed a mid-afternoon walk to yourself around your local park, and a cup of tea in the local coffee shop, and watching movies in bed until 3pm is GOOD for your own well-being. Everyone needs some time to rest from early mornings and course-work set by teachers, so take it how YOU want it, and this holiday period is about resting, and setting yourself up to be energised into the New Year.

 

The small things are sometimes the big things:

Tackling a mental health problem, whatever it may be, can be a challenge. Sometimes even getting out of bed and changing out of your PJs you've been wearing for the past two days is SUCH a task, but if you manage to do that, and get up and showered deserves to be congratulaed! So what if you didn't do loads of fun-packed things in the holidays, some days you might be so down that you don't even want to snuggle with your pet, but if you managed to brush your teeth and give yourself a nice breakfast, that's an achievement in my books - and so it should be in your's. 

So basically what i'm trying to say is that you look after your well-being this holidays, and enter 2016 how you feel is right and don't forget to treat yourself to a hot chocolate, a nice bath bomb and your favourite movie every now and again. Replemish yourself, feel good about yourself, and remember that everyone around you loves you. Christmas and New Year are meant for joy, and you have to focus on bringing yourself that joy.

Have a wonderful rest of the holidays.
Let me know in the comments what you did so far these holidays that made you proud of yourself, or what is your best Pick-Me-Up for when you're feeling a bit under the weather!

Keep Smiling, 
Paige x