Hey everybody, I know I've not written in ages, and that's okay! I've been having a hard time but this has been on my mind for a while now.
Anyway, cut to the chase. I'm sure you can tell what this blog is going to be about from the title.
Nostalgia.
"A sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past".
I'm sure you've all experienced it! It's that feeling in your heart you get when you hear that song that you and your friends would sing at 1am at a sleepover, or the smell of your favourite perfume you use to wear when you were 14, or that TV show that you were obssessed with in highschool, or that picture. Or those pictures. And that's what I'm going to write about today. Specifically, friend nostalgia.
You know when you're 15 (haha Taylor Swift), and you have that one friend that you pinky swear with every day, laugh with non-stop, and you can just look at eachother from across the room at school and you both know EXACTLY what the other one is thinking, and just laugh. Yeah, that one. That's what I'm talking about today.
Now I'm going to feel stupid writing this for some reason, I guess I'm embarrassed about how passionate I am about a former friendship who probably doesn't think of me at all nowadays! I'm a very centimental person, and when someone makes an impact in my life - I'm just never going to forget them! That's just how it is.
So I'm sure you're all familiar of the app TimeHop on your phone, which pulls up all of the embarrassing things you ever wrote and posted publicly to the internet from a year ago, to six years ago. Now six years ago for me was a very sweet time in my life, I was in school and had a great set of friends about me and I was actually in an alright place! Besides petty boy drama and all the rest that comes along with being a teenager in those days.
Now I had a bestfriend, a BEST BEST friend back then, and I could never explain how thankful I am that I met her and we were placed together in form at school because it blossomed the most beautiful friendship. When we got to know eachother, we got on like a house on fire. We were both a bit weird, and we both loved Justin Bieber, and we just fit together like the most perfect pair.
We spent every waking moment we possibly could together, she lived in a village away from me and it was quite hard to get to eachother out of school but we would spend every day in school with eachother, going to one anothers for dinner after school and sleepovers at the weekends where we would stay up until 6am doing absolutely God knows what and sleeping till 9am so we can wake up and go on with our days. Those were the days! How bittersweet it is that at that age, all we wanted to do was grow up. Drive. Drink. Be older and not have our parents telling us what to do, and get out of school because we 'hated' it that much. Little did I know that now looking back, those were the best days of my life, spending them with my bestfriend.
We took SO many photos, so many videos that I can never express the amount of time that we spent behind a camera being stupid. But I am so thankful for that now, I am so thankful for the hundreds of photos that pop up on my Facebook timehop almost every day now dating back to six years ago when we took and posted them.
Friendship nostalgia is probably one of the hardest nostalgias that someone should have to deal with. There's nothing worse than remembering all your funniest times, and it being with that person that you don't even see anymore because you've grown so far apart. Seeing all your photos everywhere and you haven't talked properly in years.
In our school, you spent the first couple of years going to class with your form so you were never split up, and that's what we were! Never split up, never fought, nothing. Then there comes one year where you split up when you're older and you all get put into seperate classes with new people, and it's a chance for you to make new friends. And thats just what happened. She made new friends, and I just kind of watched her. I mean, I had different friends - don't get me wrong, but she was bubbly and loud and popular and I was me, and quiet, and not popular. And just like that, she was gone. We drifted, and the only times we ever saw eachother was when we were at a school event and getting drunk and sloppily confessing that we missed eachother and then she was gone again. That still happens now, we get drunk and we reminise and then we drift again.
I remember one when MSN was still alive, we talked for a long while on it and I was on webcam and we were reminising and I found an old necklace she gave to me and I actually started crying because I missed our friendshp so much, and it really hurt me! Now I just look from afar and I can barely recognise who she is from what she was, she is so different, and I guess maybe from her point of view I am so different too, but I never imagined life panning out this way, to ever lose who was my 'best friend' at the time.
Growing up is so cruel to us all, looking back on all the sweet promises you make to one another when you are younger now mean nothing. Staying 'Best Friends FOREVER' never really means forever. I believe that everything happens for a reason in this world, and that people come in and out your life for reasons that you'll never know - but the time you have spent with them has taught you something in your life. If that be love, or if that be grief.
So I'll carry on seeing the photos of me and my former bestfriend, and I'll carry on feeling this nostalgia I do everytime that I see these photos, and maybe one day when we're older and things are even more different, we'll meet again and reminise on these old times that we do when we're drunk, but we won't drift, but we'll stay and we'll carry on being those 'best friends forever' that we once pinky promised at 3am round mine, eating sweets and listening to beautiful music.
Keep Smiling,
Paige.
xx
